Forever is Just Many Endings
by karebear-stare
Summary: You can still feel pain when you don't need to breath. Bella is a vampire and her perfection is her greatest flaw. Edward doesn't want her now that she no longer bleeds and finds himself a human girl. How will Bella react? When you live forever, you're going to experience a lot of ends.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story I've written before about 2 years ago. I really hated how I ended it and it gave me writers block, so this will get me back on track. But please enjoy.**

xXx

She saw Edward kissing that silly human girl, she heard her cry out at her husband and tell him to leave her alone because her heart couldn't handle it. Bella's eyes burned like her throat did when humans were around, she could not cry, could not wrap up in a ball in the woods and sob like she did once upon a time. So she watched, a horrible frown on her perfect face. Bella hated being perfect, hated herself. She thought that being a vampire would be great, but she misses the perfection in her human imperfection. What Edward loved about her, her brown eyes and the bite marks on her lips when she was stressed. Now she had no blood in her veins and she was empty, unlike that human. Bella's perfection was her imperfection.

She folded her hands and decided she would let Edward go after the girl, he would never leave her, he turned her. He couldn't, he would play with June until she got to old, and he would get all the frustration out and return to Bella and love her perfection. Bella started to hate the way that word tasted in her mouth, the word that used to be an endearing term when Edward was just her boyfriend, when Jacob was still after her and not her daughter. It wouldn't be the same, and she knew she wouldn't let Edward play with her.

Bella was innocent in this, she still loved Edward unconditionally, she now was angelic and he was dirt. The tables turned. The knight who once watched her sleep now cheated on her, on their daughter. Bella was civilized, and strangely could not bring herself to murder June. She hated her most definitely, but she couldn't do it. She had to be the bigger person for her beautiful Reneesme. Nessie, the epitome of a blessing, had done so much in the year she's been alive. Stop a war between wolves and vampires, got the Volturi off their backs for a year, and was something most adult vampires would never have.

No matter what though, Edward had broken her heart, something she never saw coming, and if she could, she would cry until she stopped loving him. But that would never happen, she could never stop loving Edward Cullen.

The ring feels heavy and the thought of it burns her and so she takes it off and carries it inside her house to put it in a drawer.

xXx

Edward is laying next to her, they are both reading, but he lays his book down and says to her, "Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

Her heart feels crushed again, but she can hide it and say, "I didn't want to lose it when I went running so I put it away and must've forgotten to put it on."

He laughs, "You still manage to lose things, even as a vampire. Some things don't change, my love." Bella feels sick with heartache; she wishes he would still truly see she was his Bella. Her mind is screaming 'I'm your Bella! I'm yours!' and she damns her shield. Edward smiles and kisses her forehead and she grabs him tightly, "I love you, J-Bella."

She hears it, something not even the oldest vampire could hear, the way his lips almost formed an J, it was the hearing of a vampire, jealous wife, she chokes on the air she didn't need to breath and he backs away, "Are you well, love?"

"I'm fine. I'm just...so happy to have you!" She pretends she's very happy and somehow she's pulled it off, "And...I love you, too."

Bella and Edward then continue reading until the sun comes up.

When it does, she gets up immediately to escape Edward and the pain and to find something else to do, something Human Bella would do, something to make her feel like she is happy and that Edward is Edward, her Edward, not June's Edward.

So she goes to her dad's house.

xXx

Bella pretends to sleep in her purple bed until her dad 'wakes' her up, "Bells? Why are you here?"

Bella sits up and smiles at her dad, "I missed you. I missed being here with you." Bella remembers all the times she would cook for her dad and she would sit with him when he watched sports. She remembers the time she tripped on ice and her dad was there to catch her. Not Edward. "Can I cook dinner for you tonight?"

Charlie nods and walks away, but Bella notices the smile on his face. She almost feels normal again. She pretends to be human Bella and walks down the stairs slowly, then slowly starts making her father some grilled chicken and mashed potatoes.

When finished, she sits down with him and eats a little, as much as it taste like acid and makes her sick.

"I love you, dad. So much." He hugs her very tight.

"I love you, too, Bells." He sighs, "You can, uhm, stay here tonight. If you want."

"Sure, dad. I would like that."

xXx

Bella is laying on the purple bed and she thinks about the times she would wait for Edward to come through that widow to love her again. It kills her inside and she can't stand it anymore. She goes into her dad's room and wakes him up, "Dad?"

He looks at her like she's crazy, "Hmm?"

"Can I lay with you?"

"What?" He looks at her again, "Okay?"

The vampire bride lays down next to her human father and he strokes her hair, fatherly, like he would've when she was a baby and she chokes on the tears that will never come. She maybe was an adult now, but she needed a rock, and that rock was her father, for a nice fleeting moment.

xXx

Bella goes home around noon the next day and Edward is asking her, "Where were you?"

She turns to him angrily, "Why didn't you look for me? My Edward would've looked for me."

He sighs, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I stayed with my dad, I missed him."

Edward says, "Oh, okay." The sound of his voice makes her feel inhumane again and she walks out to go spend time with her pride and joy.

Nessie, Bella's beautiful brown eyed girl is sitting in her room drawing, drawing normal human girl pictures, "Hey mom!"

She turns around and smiles, then turns around to continue her painting, "Hey Nes? You wanna go do something fun?"

She smiles very big and says, "Can we please go to the movies and see the new superhero movie?"

Bella laughs, the pain melting away, "Since when have you like superhero movies?"

She goes on about Jacob and how he showed her some and her mother tells her to get some shoes on because they are going to the movies.

xXx

At the theater, a cute boy comes up to Bella, she had forgot she looked 18. He looks around the same, he smiles, perfect white teeth, "Hey? Is that your little sister?"

Bella smiles, "Yes. Why?"

He looks at Nes and says, "She dropped this." He hands Bella her movie ticket back, but not before reading it. "Two beautiful girls going to see an action film, you are going to make some men very happy."

Then Bella snorts loudly, and he looks at her weird. The vampire makes a quick recovery, "I'm sorry. I just my hus-boyfriend-"

"I understand." He smiles and Nes looks at her weird and tugs her shirt.

"Come on, the movie is about to start." Then he and Bella say a quick goodbye and they run off to see the movie.

xXx

She is painting when Edward comes into their bedroom, he looks deep into her eyes and holds her hand tightly, "Bella, I love you." She knows that this is his form of begging. She wants him to admit he's been with June.

"I love you, too. But why are you doing this?" She pushes away lightly to meet his eyes and hold his other hand.

"Reneesme showed me, at the theater."

"Oh."

"Please, put your ring back on." Edward is gripping her tightly, like he won't let go, but she knows he already has let go. And in her head, she's screaming: Return to me! Tell me the truth!

She just hugs him and dryly cries until he thinks they are okay, then she puts her ring on and smiles like the day she did when she first became Edward's girlfriend.

xXx

Bella had a lot more free time as a vampire, she could usually be found painting or writing in her journal. She spent more time learning and taking in the past and present through art and writing then her whole life as a human. She didn't have a job so it was all she really had and wanted to do.

Read, paint, write, take care of Nes, and making herself look good. It was pathetic how much time she took everyday to curl her perfect brown hair and put on the nicest clothes for Edward. As a human, she didn't care, but now she was so beautiful she felt she would break without perfect care. Bella was like a china teacup that must be put in the sturdiest and most elegant cabinet to be safe.

Not that Edward noticed, he spent most him time hunting or seeing June. It was revolting how alone Bella was most of time because of her husband's infidelity.

It was when Bella was writing poetry in the study that she realized how irritating and lazy it was she lived on Carlisle's money and did nothing all day. It was like a bunch of lazy children living with their parents.

She put her shoes on and followed the little stone path to her annoying bulletproof car. The vampire woman drove through the town and admired all of the places she was to focused on Edward to notice, like Cassandra Keep's little bakery on main. She stopped inside of the little building and awed at all of the girly decorations, she really never lived in Forks, Edward was everything since day one.

Cassandra was frowning at the counter, her plump cheeks a bright red, Bella walked up and said hello.

"Hello, Isabella!" She knows Cassandra from one of her fathers co-workers, Cassy was his wife.

"Are you alright?" Bella asks her shyly.

"I'm just a bit flustered, my usual worker has decided not to show up." Cassandra blows a blonde curl out of her face and sighs, pulling two large trays out of the case.

"Let me help you!" Bella grabs one of trays before all of the treats are able to fall.

The owner laughs, "You aren't as clumsy as you used to be, Isabella."

Bella smiles, saddened that her difference is obvious, "Please call me, Bella." She pauses, "Cassandra-"

"Cassy. Call me Cassy." She winks at her.

"I don't have anything to do today, would you like me to help you?"

"Yes!" She calms slightly, "I mean yes, thank you Bella. You can start by pulling the cupcakes out of the oven over there, please don't burn yourself."

Bella does as she is told and spends most of her day helping Cassy out and it's around 6 in the evening when she tells Bella she can go home because they closing. Cassandra starts pushing buttons to turn of things and hitting light switches, "Thanks so much, Bella."

"Hey, uhm, I was actually wondering if I could apply here." She shrugs sheepishly and expects her to say no.

"Sure, let me get you an application." She pulls one out of a folder, but then stops, "Fill this out and come in tomorrow. You've got the job, but I want to at least have a record." Cassandra gives her the papers and gives another one of her winks, "Rest well, we open at 6."

Bella smiles and waves, "I will." She heads home to find Edward watching television in the living room.

"Where have you been all day, Bella?" He asks her.

"I got a job." She smiles about that, she got a job!

"You know you don't have to, I can support you." He looks at the tv.

"You mean Carlisle can support me." He frowns and she realizes she's insulted his manhood.

"I think I'll go stay in the main house tonight." Edward says coldly and walks out.

She sighs and turns of the TV, then walks into the laundry room to start a load, it's one of her favorite things to so because it so normal and wifely. She is not sure wifely is a word and if it is, it definitely doesn't describe her.

She separates the colors and whites and decides she'll go lay down. At first, she thinks of what she will buy with her new money, probably an old truck and some new clothes. Bella smiles at the thought of buying the cheap food she used to buy for Charlie and herself.

The thoughts turn dark when she thinks of Edward's storm out and she wonders where the hero she married was. Bella thinks of the day she looked into Edwards eyes and he told her he loved her, and he meant it. Her cheeks are dry and it burns even more, she wishes to cry, she wants to be fragile.

June, the human girl whose mind Edward couldn't read, looked just like she did. She had large brown eyes and lovely thick brown hair. Bella wished she had the energy to rip it out and watch her cry as she drank her blood.

The violent thought scared Bella, it was after feeling her tongue around her mouth she realized she was thirsty.

Bella goes to closet and puts on sweats, it more comfortable to hunt that way. She ties up her hair, too. She looks in the mirror and cringes at how awful she looks, her skin looks white as snow against the black clothes.

It makes her angrier, she runs out of the house at vampire speed and heads for the mountains because she wants an aggressive kill. Bella growls out loud, it doesn't take her long to sniff out a bear, Emmentt's favorite, and pounces on it with no plans, she digs her teeth into is fur neck and it growls and paws at her. She tears at its neck with her teeth and blood sprays on her face.

xXx

She walks into the house around 4 in the morning with her pale skin stained red, Edward is home and audibly gasp at her appearance, he was used to her nervous, clean kills, "Bella?"

Pushes him away when he goes to touch her, she walks into their room and slams the door.

Bella takes a shower, then lies in her bed until around five, she's taught herself to quiet her mind and think of nothing, it was the closest she's gotten to sleep since she's changed.

It's around 5:30 when she puts her hair in a pony tail and heads off to work at the bakery with Cassy, she's very excited to see what her first official real day will be like.

It's actually a lot better than she expected in the worst way.

xXx

Bella is sitting at the register around the time the bakery is dead, Cassy is in the back talking to people about orders and so Bella is very bored.

The door jingles as someone walks in, she lifts her head and it's June. It's in that moment Bella realizes how gross it was that she was 17 and her boyfriend was over 100.

Bella shakes it off, "Hello," she walks up to the counter timidly, Bella wants to laugh out loud at how pathetic she is, "What can I get you?"

Her brown eyes are huge when she points at a red velvet cupcakes, "I would like two of those."

Bella pulls them out and puts them in a box, then types in the cost on the register, "That's four dollars."

June goes to pull out her money and everything in her purse falls out, Bella looks at her and she scrambles to pick it all up. It's annoying to watch her fumble until Bella sees a familiar necklace in the clutter of her purse, "Excuse me, where did you get that necklace? It looks exactly like the one of a kind one my husband gave me."

The human girl looks like she's about to vomit, "I, uhm, found them, I mean, it...well, have a good day." She storms out without the cupcakes, the necklace lays on the floor still, Bella goes around to pick up the silver jewelry.

She wishes she was like traditional vampires and the silver burned her, she wanted to feel pain at this moment, she wanted to hurt physically more than she did in her still heart.

The jaded vampire pins the beautiful chain around her neck and smiles.

xXx

Bella arrives home a bit later after a stop at the jewelry store and Edward is playing a board game with Nes. Bella kisses her on the head and tell her she needs to speak with her father.

"I'll meet you at our spot." She says.

"Okay." Edward smiles at her lovingly.

Bella first walks into their room and gets into her jewelry cabinet, just as she suspected, the necklace was gone, and is now around her neck. Bella crushes the picture frame next to the cabinet in anger.

She sees her husband walking outside near the window so she walks out the back door and runs there to beat him.

Edward thinks that she is going to do something loving out here by his smiles, but then he sees the chain around her neck and he looks fearful, "You found your necklace?"

"Actually, I had no idea it was gone. A human girl had it with her today, a pretty brown haired creature. She told me she found it."

He laughs, it sounds strained, "I really don't see how that's possible, love." Edward strokes her arm and he does his 'I'm innocent' smile.

"I do. She seemed to have found it in your hand." Bella looks at him with a raised eyebrow and her arms crossed.

"Bella, love-" he starts. He is quiet for a minute and continues, "I took it to school to show my class, I must've lost it and she needed to return it. Was it June?" Hearing him saying her name made her burn with jealously and rage. She doesn't show it in her face, and all of the terrible things she wants to say fill her brain. Pushing those thoughts behind her, she calculates her next move. She should play dumb, and get herself some more time to think about this. She wants Edward to suffer just as she has, but before she has time to speak he carries on, "I can't believe you'd suspect ME of cheating!"

"Edward, I didn't say that, did I?" Both of her eyebrows raise and she smiles.

"Oh."

She ignores that, "Well it's so nice she would do that for you, Edward. She must be a good friend. But, Nessie really needs to get to bed so I'm going to head home."

"Why did you call me out here?" He looks uncomfortable and runs a hand through his hair.

She pulls out a box she purchased from the jewelry store and hands it to him, "Oh yeah, I got you this, open it and I'll see you when I get home, love." She accidentally spits out his pet name with a pinch of attitude, but she doesn't care and starts running home.

Edward opens the box to find a simple silver necklace with a small diamond in the middle. There is a neatly folded note and placing the box in his pocket he opens the note with curiosity because why did his wife purchase him a woman's necklace?

 _You should give her this one instead._

The note filled him with dread, he could play this off and he had to be more careful. She couldn't know he was cheating. He decided to say nothing about it and let Bella work this out on her own, she loved him and she would get over it.

xXx

 **Sorry about any grammatical errors. But, please review and tell me what you think and want to see next.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Forever is Just Many Endings – Chapter 2**

xXx

She was at work and the business of the baking really kept her mind off of her stress. The simplicity of the actions and making regular food made her feel surprisingly human. Cassy was humming to the sounds of the oldies on the radio and pulling pies out of the oven.

Bella is blow away by the way the pies look, "How on earth do you do this so well?"

She laughs, "Lots of love and lots of practice. When I was 16 my mom died and I threw myself into my cooking passion. My dad…he was broken and the only times he smiled was when he would eat my food. He was proud and grateful that I wasn't letting the pain ruin my life and in a weird way it was his fuel. It kept him strong, but it certainly didn't help his waistline," she giggles harder.

Bella smiled harder than she had in days. Cassy was so kind it made a warm feeling bubble in her belly and fill her body. She had never been around someone so bright for no reason at all. "Cassy…can I talk to you?"

"What's up, Bella?" Her concern was obvious because for once she stopped moving.

"Edward is cheating on me." Bella didn't know what made her actually say it, and the words bummed her out again. She felt like a failure, like she had lost something. In the race in this world to actually have a decent marriage, she lost.

"What the fuck," Cassy spit out, "Bella, I'm so sorry."

Pity was all she ever felt for herself so hearing it from someone else made her wish she could suck the words back inside and burry them deep in the ground, "I- I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget it."

"I am not going to forget that, but I'm hear when you need me."

xXx

Bella was thankful that she didn't pressure her, and walked out of work a little quicker than usual. They had extra cupcakes left so Bella skipped going home to take a long walk to her dad's to take him a few cupcakes. The air was so cool and relaxing as she walked. She enjoyed moments like this, moments of calm before the storm where she could really think. The house was a constant silent storm, Edward knew she knew but played her for a fool. The love between them dissipated and anger sunk its claws into their hearts. Nessie's eye seemed empty unless Jacob was around and she knew it was her fault. But it was so hard to show her daughter love when her body was so empty of it.

She felt like a real piece of shit then and remembered Cassy's story. She was her father's rock through his hardships, and Bella couldn't even raise the child she nearly died for. Cassy liked to bake and maybe Bella needed a passion that could bring her from the grave she put herself into.

Edward wasn't the only thing special in this world, as she so naively believed in high school. Immortality was no longer a foreign idea to her; she very well knew she would suffer in this world forever.

But maybe, she could grow up and stop allowing the suffering to paralyze her from living. She did not have a beating heart, but she wasn't a marble statue frozen in time. Life for her lately was like a piece of art, she constantly stood in one moment, the moment she learned of Edward's infidelity. Imaging what the sculpture would look like, she seems a miserable woman with a terrible frown, the thought made Bella feel old and considering her age to the eternity she had left, she wasn't old at all.

Edward and his family had spent so many years on this earth, graduating over and over and living the most mediocre life over and over. Right now, Bella still had her father and her town, no one would suspect she was frozen in time yet, so she must enjoy her first time living to the fullest and she just had to figure out how.

She finishes her walk around 8 and knocks on her dad's door. She hears her old man yelling and swearing and decides to walk in. To her amusement she finds Charlie failing at making himself a hamburger. She knocks on the door frame, "Dad?"

"Bella," he says sheepishly, "I think I need help." She walks towards him and waves him away and begins cooking.

"I set you some cupcakes on the table. They're from work." He jumps up and grabs the box from the dining room, she hears his happy grumble as he takes a bite. She laughs but then feels a little guilty he's left here alone constantly, she can relate to him now.

They are sitting at the table and Charlie takes notice to her sad facial expression, "What the hell is going on, Bella?" She stares at him in shock and he clears his throat, "I mean, what's going on at home? Hanging out with your pop wasn't really cool when you were in high school, so why is it now?"

Her eyes sting and she wishes she could sob into her arms on this table, but she can't and she's trying to be stronger, "A lot is happening."

"I wish I could kill him." He takes an aggressive bite into his food and Bella knows whom 'him' is. She knows better than to say anything, she would spill it out. "You know you're a lot more like me than I wanted you to be."

"What do you mean?"

"You're too nice and loving. I'm not dissing your mother but she never wanted to be here. She would leave over and over, sometimes for a day, sometimes for a month, and I would never ask her where she went. I sat here and waited because I loved her and I didn't know what else was out there," he swallows loudly, "When she got pregnant, she stayed for the longest time without leaving. I thought maybe my loyalty finally changed her, and I changed myself to try and be a man that would make her stay. But you can't force anyone to stay and you can't change yourself to make someone happy. I was miserable. I know you're like me and you're gonna fight for what you think is right, but sometimes you aren't right, Bells." He puts his hand on hers and gives it a squeeze and gives her a sad smile.

"What do you mean," Bella says, "I don't think I can fix this, dad. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe you didn't wrong another person, but you can always wrong yourself. I locked myself up trying to lock your mom into this life with me," he's quiet for a moment and thinks, then continues, "Let me say it like this, once you came to visit me for a month, uhm, you were around 8. We were playing outside and we found this injured bird. You begged me to take it in and we did. We took care of that bird as best as we could, but it still didn't want to stay in our home. The bird would peck at the windows and squawk constantly. Even though all we did was love that bird and keep it safe, it wanted back out into the same surrounding that hurt it. You didn't really get why I did it but I did all I could for that bird and I had to let it go. Now I see it in a special way, just because it's life was better here didn't mean it was right, so we had to let that bird go make it's own choices."

She understood fully what he meant. "Thank you, dad."

"Your daughter is a lot more perceptive than you think, and if she's having to talk to this old man about it, she really needs her mom. Go home to her, Bells. Even if he's there she needs you and you need her. My biggest regret in life wasn't losing your mom, it was not putting in enough effort to see you."

Bella nodded, "I love you, Dad." She gave him a hug and decided to head home.

xXx

Only Edward was in their cottage so Bella headed to the big house. She found her daughter in the kitchen with Rosalie and Jacob. "Hey, Jacob."

Rosalie seemed a little on edge and said to her, "Bella, I really need to talk to you."

Giving Ness a big kiss on the cheek, she smiles at her daughter and then says to Rosalie, "Sure, I'll follow you," and whispers, "I love you," to her daughter and follows her sister-in-law outside.

Always the blunt one she bites right into it, "I caught Edward fucking with another human bitch."

Bella, who Rosalie suspected to cry, smiles and says to her, "I know." And the biggest grin shows on her face and Rosalie reminds herself to never fuck with Bella.

xXx

Death was the greatest ending to the adventure of life. Existing was fucking hard, Bella decides. Life is a terrible place, with quick bursts of pleasure and joy. In a normal position, you grow old and you carry all of your memories, good and bad, in a large bag on your back. In the end, your back breaks and it's all over and you die. The person who passes becomes free of all of that and goes to whatever afterlife or starts again as a baby.

When you're a vampire you are incredibly strong, Bella could throw a truck over her head with one hand. But the weight of a vehicle was nothing like the weight of her life. Her bag was already large and she would live forever, she would never be rid of her pain and memories. Edward will always be and as will the pain when her relatives die. She will have the pain of a 100-year-old woman, but the face of a teenager. What had she done? Everything was supposed to be perfect but it wasn't.

So, beginning her life for the first of many times, she decides she will live for herself.

Her talk with Rosalie had made everything easier, Rosalie's pain was bigger and stronger than Bella's but instead of closing up she gave Bella so much advice and strength. Rosalie loved her brother, but he had definitely put himself on her list of people she didn't care for. She was only worried of Bella and what choice she would make and she didn't have a good feeling at all.

xXx

 **Please send me your ideas on what I should do next. I don't have a routine so it'll be a lot of uploads and then maybe a period of none. I feel like I'm the only Twilight fan left so give me a review for a little uplifting.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Forever is Just Many Endings – Chapter 3**

xXx

Edward sat at his desk and stared at his journal. He had been alive for many years and had seen many things; he thought nothing else could blow him away until he faced his own actions of the past 2 months.

 _Bella, there are so many things I would like to say. That I love you, and that I'm sorry, but I know that it means nothing because I'm not going to change. I don't want to change._

His written words disgusted him, but he had no outlet. He knew his family knew, and he could not lie anymore since Rosalie caught him. She told her husband and he told everyone else. The Cullen family was never one full of secrets. He could not turn to them for help, though they still cared and showed him love, they would not see him as a victim. The grave he lies in he dug himself.

 _We were too young. Maybe the Volturi pressure limited time to decide on your changing and we hadn't thought of it enough. Renesmee came as a surprise, I couldn't just let you die but now you must live forever with a husband like me._

As pathetic as it was, Edward felt like a victim. Bella was too docile, too loving. She provided him with no more excitement now that she was unbreakable. She was no longer falling at every step and needing his arms to fall into. He didn't realize how dull she was until her intoxicating smell disappeared.

"Edward."

Turning his head he found his brother, Jasper, resting on his doorframe, "Yes?"

He couldn't handle another berating from one of his siblings, but he expected nothing less. Jasper surprised him, "I'm not angry at you, brother." Jasper didn't know how much that meant to him. "I think you still have time to fix things. End things with June and talk to Bella. Your daughter is noticing her parents don't speak, and Bella, I can't pinpoint what she's feeling but Alice can feel it too – something bad is about to happen."

"It's selfish, but I don't want to end things with June." Jasper nodded and walked away before Eward even had a chance to explain himself. He knew his brother to only be of man of speaking when necessary so it didn't hurt him.

 _June is my muse, Bella. I can't explain it. She's my siren singing on a rock and I can feel myself about to wreck, but I can't stop sailing towards her. She's blood in my veins, I feel warm and human. And she needs me. Just like you once did._

He puts his pen down and looks at his phone. June sent him a list of her favorite books. Most of them he would never lower his standards enough to read, but her simplicity makes him smile.

He calls her as a reply. "Hello?" She answered on the second ring and he chuckles.

"Hello, lovely."

"Why are you calling me? Is your wife around?" She whispers like Bella was in her own home.

"Of course not, but I don't want to discuss her. She doesn't come around me anymore." He feels grumpy suddenly; all everyone talked about was Bella. He changes the subject, "Do you want to go to Seattle?"

"Edward, I saw your wife at the bakery again and…I don't like the way this feels anymore. I don't want to see you again until you no longer have a wife."

"Okay." He cuts her off when he accidentally crushes the phone in his hands.

He places his head into his hands and sulks for a moment. When did he become so selfish? He feels himself slip deeper into the hole of his sins, but none of him wants to leave. He picks up his pen, his only savior.

 _It is know in the Christian faith that god gives his people free will, that eventually he will allow his sinful children to leave for good, that he will no longer call out for them. I have made my choice and I did not want to be called back. I had found comfort in my bad deeds. I have made a comfortable home in the darkness and I do not wish to leave. June's skin was a meadow I long to be lost in, and her eyes were two pools I dream to sink into. Her voice was a song I would sing forever. How can someone make me frown and smile at the same time? Would this attraction wear off? I had no clue and I did not care. For once in my life I felt sure of something and I was going to enjoy every moment of it._

xXx

Edward had left Bella alone at the house with their child. The mother-daughter duo had been spending more time together and he knew Bella wanted him gone for the day – he was kind enough to let her have that. Going to visit his family was an option, but it was more unappealing than spending the day with his resentful wife. They didn't think he saw their disapproving glances, and Rosalie would always put in her two cents. She would say things like, "We put in all that effort for you to just cheat on her," when she thought no one else would hear. He wishes he could enjoy his sins without the constant guilt trips. He obviously knew he was wrong and he had no explanation so what else did they want?

He decided to take a trip around town; he only felt solace in his lonely drives. June would not do anything except text him until his family situation changed. If she knew he was a vampire she would understand, but another human girl aware of his supernatural side would make things worse for him. The Volturi would kill him if told another girl. He parked his car and decided to take a walk on the street side to clear his mind.

He wishes he knew why things with Bella didn't work, but they just didn't. He thought his obsession was love, and she liked him because he was exciting and he could give her more than anyone else could. As soon as he realized he couldn't read her mind and smelled the intoxicating scent of her blood, he was hooked. He really knew nothing about her by the time they married except that she was clumsy and kind. He felt like she was in a box he couldn't unlock and he just gave up.

Town was mostly abandoned other than workers and old people exercising, it was a Tuesday around noon. Normal people had jobs or school. He walks by the bakery his wife works at and he sees her boss inside, she gives him a glare and he sighs. Sometimes he wishes he would have never met Bella and could just be on his own forever because it's so much easier.

Walking by a coffee shop, he sees a familiar hair or straight brown hair, June. He immediately walks inside, "Hey."

She turns to him and her mouth forms a straight line, "Edward." He wishes she were more excited to see him.

"How are you? I miss you." He sits and places a hand over hers.

She slips her hand into her lap like he shocked her, "I'm fine, and I would be better if the whole town didn't know I was a home wrecker. Why do you need to broadcast it to everyone like this?"

When did things between June and him become so negative and drab? He liked her because she was exciting and different and now she's acting like his wife. "Will you stop? You know that I miss you and all I want is you."

"You say that, but then you will leave here and go back to your wife and I will sleep alone," she says angrily, spitting out the last word like it was poison she just drank.

Her thoughts are so confusing and he doesn't know how she doesn't explode. He can see how much she yearns for him and for him to just take her right here, but she hates him. The thoughts are almost screams in his head and he feels suffocated by them, but at the same time they fill him with even more want for her. "Stop," he says and she looks furious and he hears in her mind ' _How dare him.'_ He takes a deep breath, "You want to know why I'm still with her, yeah?" June nods and he continues, "Because I'm the asshole that cheated on her and I can't be the asshole that divorces her, too. My family will hate me even more. I'm doing everything I can to make Bella's choice easier but she won't leave and I don't know why she won't." The real reason is because he changed her, he made her into a monster and he can't just abandon her in this ungodly world.

"I see." June looks away from him, stirs her straw in her cup nervously, and her mind is still for a moment. He looks at her, really looks at June, and he feels a sudden pang of guilt and pain. What did he expect to get out of this? He can't be with her forever he wasn't ruining another girls life with immortality. He had to be honest with himself; this girl would be of no use when she grows old. What had he done?

But then she smiles and it all fades away, he can't explain it. How did she do this? She was more powerful than any power a vampire had and she could control him with a smile. He can't help but wonder if this is what a real mate feels like.

If June were ever turned her power would be mind control because she already controlled his with her smile and words. "I love you, Edward. And it isn't okay because you're never gonna love me."

But maybe she was wrong because as soon as she said it he felt his dead heart fall out onto the table and begins to beat again. His heart beat for June and he felt too guilty to even enjoy it.

xXx

He arrived home to find only Bella at the house, "Where is Ness?" Her frown never faltered and he wishes he were right when he once believed she would just love him and forgive him easily. It shows how little he knows about his wife and her feelings. Maybe he only understood other people because he could read their minds? He forgot how to put effort into relationships. Bella looks at him and rolls her eyes, and then turns back to her book. He yells, "If you hate me so much then why won't you just leave me?"

Bella remembers the story her dad told her and guilt fills her heart because she should leave Edward and she knows she should set him free for the sake of both of them. But anger wraps its cold hand around her heart and mind and squeezes painfully. She wants Edward to suffer just as she has and she doesn't know how to do it just yet. The rage made her blind and she didn't know her next step. "If that's what you want to know then why don't you just leave?"

He growls, "You know why."

She does and chuckles, "You're even more of a fool then a thought, then. I don't know if you know, but I don't need you anymore, Edward. I'm stronger than you and I'm stronger than this. I can be a vampire without having a midlife crisis every 10 seconds and I don't need to use humans to make me feel good about myself."

"You're not very strong if they only reason you're staying is to hurt me. I know that's why Bella and it isn't good for our daughter and it isn't good for you." Edward crosses his arms.

Bella stands and drops her book on the ground, "You don't know our daughter and you really don't know me!" She's yelling and wishes she could shove that stupid look off his face. The rage burns even bigger and brighter, "I fucking hate you and if you're going to make me suffer for eternity in this life you gave me, then you'll suffer with me. I'm trapped here and you are too."

She was angry because she knew he was right. She was too cowardly to leave, she was a vampire with a kid and she didn't know where to go. The Cullen's knew how to live this life, how to start and restart lives and she had no clue. She would never be able to find love again because she was a vampire. Watching her dad grow old was already too much for her, now she had to do it with a lover? Money was also an issue, she made minimum wage at the bakery and her daughter was used to a life of luxury. She would never stay with her if she were poor.

Edward knew she was right too. He would never leave her out of guilt. He cannot believe the mess he created and he hated himself more than June could ever love him.

xXx

Renesmee clung to her best friend Jacob, he was her rock, and said, "Have they always been like this?" They were camping in the yard in her new tent and the screaming match from inside her home did not escape her ears.

Jacob sighs and says, "No." He wishes he could protect his imprint from the pain but this wasn't a monster he could punch to death.

"Something bad is going to happen, Jacob," she says, and her words send a chill down his spine. His urge to protect her grows and he knows he'll be ready when the time comes.

xXx

 **I'm really proud of this chapter and I know the feelings are complicated to understand. People do crazy things when they are in pain and I know exactly how Bella feels. Please review I will hopefully have a new chapter ready tomorrow, things are finally about to get crazy.**


	4. Chapter 4

The Cullen big house had become Bella's permanent home, and the only bedroom not occupied was Edward's old room. Just walking in it sent painful memories into her brain like arrows. She put most of his things into a box and set her necessities on the shelves along with her daughters. Most of her stuff was at the house but the important things were here so her trips to Edward's "slut hut," as Emment called it, were less frequent. Her brother-in-law thought the jokes would cheer her up but the pitiful attempts to make her smile just made her heart get harder.

She was staring out the window when Alice ran inside, "Bella," her eyes were big and full of fear, "The Volturi are coming."

xXx

They met in the clearing Alice had the vision. Bella looked around and remembered this was where she watched the Cullen's play baseball as a human and she feels her bad mood get worse, lately she hated everything that brought back Edward memories.

Rosalie was the first to speak, "We didn't do anything wrong so why are we so nervous?"

Carlisle clear his throat and everyone knows what he's going to say, "We don't want them to know about Edwards…friend." All eyes are on Edward and he burns, Rosalie knew the answer, she just wanted to embarrass him.

He hears Bella laugh bitterly and is thankful Nessie is with Jacob in La Push, far from her mother. He knows that it is her doing that his daughter has had an attitude with him lately. Every time his daughter looks at him she remembers her mothers sobs in the middle of the night. He sees Bella from the crack of a door, her hands gripping the bathroom counter for stability while she breaks down. He slightly understands his daughter, because that's what he sees when he looks at his wife, pretending she's strong and bitchy. Bella isn't strong and he knows it, their relationship was birthed by his obsession with saving her. He looks at her and she turns her head angrily, her brown hair whipping around in the wind, and he knew that if she was a human she would be crying. She is so thin and small, her features are young and pure and the fact she's only 19 shocks him every time. His wife had no time to grow up before she was thrust into immortality, motherhood, and heartbreak. Being a vampire didn't change your personality and it didn't grow you up. His wife was a child. He regrets everything he has done to her and he wishes he could take it back. Bella will never understand his pain and regret, but he can't go back and he didn't force her to be a vampire.

Bella wishes she was nervous about the Volturi coming but she could only think about Edward. Her self hatred grew, and she realized how badly she was handling this and how annoying she had become, would the girl she was when she came to Forks approve? Yes, she was weak and young, but she wasn't this evil person – the person who would make someone suffer for hurting her. Yes, Edward was a bad guy, but she was becoming the same person herself, someone who would hurt everyone around her just to get back at her cheating husband. Her heart lunges into her throat and she feels like she cant breath for a moment, she regrets everything she's done in the past couple weeks and wishes she just didn't exist to burden everyone anymore. The mood swings are vile, because then she realizes the terrible depth of her thoughts and how selfish she is being. How could she be a mother like this?

The quick flow of emotion in Bella's mind is halted when a group of cloaked figures appear from the woods and walks towards the family. Alice did not sense an attack, so the wolves stayed far away, so that the Volturi did not feel threatened and change their mind.

They walked very close to the Cullens with Aro in front. He had that annoying smile on his face and Bella thought to herself, ' _This is gonna be good.'_ Unlike the almost battle, the Volturi stood only 5 feet away, and it caused obvious discomfort for some members of the Cullen family. Carlisle, never the one to be inhospitable, spoke first, "Hello everyone," and smiled widely. The smile didn't appear fake at all but Bella knew better.

"Hello Carlisle and the rest of the Cullen family. It is so lovely to see you again. Where is your lovely grandchild?" Aro seemed less excited when he realized Renessme was not around. His reaction made Bella and Edward's stomachs turn.

Carlisle was the only one who didn't seem nervous to speak to Aro, "She's with her wolf friend because she had homework to do."

Aro laughs and Jane rolls her eyes, "The wolves are your babysitters now?"

She stops laughing at her little joke when Aro gives her a look, "So, I can assume the child is still growing like you said?" He looks at Bella for an answer.

Bella looks at him and speaks softly, "She looks to be around 13 now," and then drops her eyes to the floor. She knows that she cannot touch Aro, there is no way she could hide her thoughts of Edward's infidelity.

"And she is beautiful just like her mother I assume, right Edward?" Aro laughs and Edward feels like he knows _something_ , but his mind is somehow blank.

Edward plays along but just in case Aro knows he doesn't lie, "I am very proud of my daughter. She is smart and beautiful, like every Cullen woman."

Most of the members of the Volturi have their eyes on Edward, but he is only concerned about Aro, he has the power to know what he has done. Aro is still looking at Bella and he walks toward her, Edward sees it in slow motion and suddenly hates himself even more for loving June, because it's caused everything that's about to happen.

"Bella, could I touch your hand for a moment? I would like to see this little Renessme grow in her mothers eyes." They all know it's a lie, but Bella has no choice, she can't act like she has something to hide.

'S-sure," she sticks out her hand and Aro holds it between his.

Everyone is silent, no breathing and the wind is still. The tension in the Cullen family is high and no onecould ever guess how Aro will react. Every one in the clearing has their eyes on Aro's smiling face and the hand he holds. Carlisle curses himself for not expecting this. Bella uses her hair as a curtain to hide her shame, she knows she can't hide this from Aro, she couldn't hide it from anyone. The pain in her heart was stronger than her fear of Aro and she hates herself.

Aro suddenly lets her go and gasps, and he no longer smiles. His eyes find Edward immediately, "My word," he shouts.

xXx

I'm going to start the next chapter today. Hope you're enjoying the story. Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Forever is Just Many Ending – Chapter 5**

 **xXx**

They watched the Volturi fade away, their cloaks creating a dark cloud in the distance but the intensity they created stays. Everyone is silent for a moment, trying to get a hold onto what had just happened.

" _Edward Cullen, you will stop fraternizing with stupid human women,"Aro throws a look at Bella and then turns his eyes back to Edward, "or your family **will die**." He lets go of Edward's hand and returns into the crowd of his people, "That is an order!"_

 _Edward looks at Carlisle with pleading eyes. Bella watches him and burns, he would risk his entire family's life for a human girl. She almost laughs she's so angry. Carlisle must feel the same because he ignores Edward and nods at Aro, "Understood. I think the best option for this situation is to pack up and move tomorrow."_

 _Edward clenches his fist and storms into the woods, the act causes the corner of Aro's smile to twitch but it doesn't leave his face, "Excellent, well I believe I have some things that need taken care of back home. Goodbye, my friends."_

Rosalie is the first to speak, "Fucking brat. Who does he think he is risking all of our lives like that?"

Edward is suddenly back outside, "Brat? Why are we going to just bow to the Volturi like that? We need to fight back."

Rosalie growls and heads back into the house followed by Emment, Alice, and Jasper. Edward's siblings can't even look at him.

Carlisle can't hide his disappointment, "We will fight for our family and we will always fight for what's right, but we will never fight for your selfish needs, Edward. You have a wife and a child, we will not fight for your mistress."

The words of his father feels like a punch in the gut, "She's more than that!"

Bella flinches at his words and her heart breaks even more, he really did love that girl more than he loved her. He loved June more than his daughter. She didn't need to hear anymore of the shit coming out of his mouth, so she ran home.

"My choice is final and I know your family will agree with me." Carlisle wrapped his arm around his wife and walked away from his son.

xXx

Edward stood in that spot for a while. He was old enough and had been through enough to know Carlisle was right, but his mind and heart were so jumbled up by this woman. He craved June more than he craved blood.

His anger faded into despair. He decided to head back to his cottage alone. The members of his family did not want to see him and he knew it. He deserved it.

Alone time would be for the best, he even ignored the countless texts from June asking if he was okay. He opened his journal, his only pinch of sanity, and wrote.

 _June, for reasons you cannot know I must leave._

 _I love you with every part of me. You will haunt my dreams until I die, but I ask that you move on. Find a love who is the opposite of me, someone who is without strings. I have become tangled in the two lives I leave and I can only choose one. I have to choose my family._

 _In my dreams, I will hold you in my arms. In your arms, you will hold my heart, one that I did not know was frail and beating until I met you. I imagine sharing a home with you._

He could not tell her but when he was with her he was lost in a dream that he was human again, that she would lay against him and listen to the beat of his heart. He imagines growing old and dying with her. Never did death even seem appealing to him. Until her. Everything was different because of **her**.

 _June, please do not dwell on me, I am not worthy of it. You were the beginning of something for me, but it was a story not meant for me. I am not a main character in your life June, I am simply here to push you forward in your story. You are made of greatness and even I, a man who had never felt anything, was woken up by your power._

 _I am sorry I must go, but mostly for myself. I'm sorry I have to let you go._

 _I love you, Edward._

If Edward could cry, he would.

Xxx

Sorry it's been so long on a chapter, my computer broke and I just got it fixed today. But I am back now and hope to upload once a week. Please review! They fuel my creativity.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm going to stay here with Ness." Bella made her choice and she wasn't going to change her mind, "Jacob isn't ready to leave his family yet and I'm not going to make him." She knew Jacob would drop everything for her daughter but he had a mother and sister that needed him just as much.

"Are you sure?" Alice looked so worried and Bella wished she could show her there was no reason to be.

"I don't want to leave my dad until I have to, and I really think I need to be away from Edward for a long time." Her soon to be ex husband wouldn't look her in the eyes.

A part of her felt like she lost because she is the one that's leaving the family, not him. But even Carlisle had to admit it would be best for her to stay here, and the family would only been a couple hours away in their new home so if she needed them they'd be here immediately.

Rosalie scoffed, "Why don't we just leave Edward here instead?"

No one said anything in reply but everyone slightly agreed with her.

"I found a nice little house outside of town for Ness and I. It's going to be great, guys." She smiled sadly and Ness began her train of hugs.

She squeezed extra tight onto her dad and Edward felt like she was squeezing his heart. He felt constricted and would never admit it but he slightly resented his daughter for forcing him to create Bella. It has nothing to do with her but he couldn't help it. He still smiled and kissed her head, "I love you."

xXx

Bella could not believe where her life had traveled, but even she had to admit things were looking up. Her family had been gone 3 months and the stress of seeing her ex husband every day had lifted. Yes, Edward still came to visit and it still made her heart heavy, but the rage had disappeared.

Today was a busy day for her at work and she was ready to get home and watch a movie with her daughter. She pulled out her phone and sent Jacob a text that she was on her way back and then stepped outside the door, "See you tomorrow," she called to Cass. It was employee policy that she park behind the building so she had to walk down a block and then turn because all the buildings were connected. As she was walking she noticed a figure walking the same speed as her on the other side of the street. That was definitely odd especially since uptown was usually dead at this time. She stopped and pretended to look at her phone, and the person kept going. "Thank goodness," she mumbled under her breath.

The bakery was closer to her than her car so she considered hiding out with Cass but she was a vampire, if any human wanted to attack her she would be okay. So she continued walking to her car again.

She got to her car and saw someone standing next to it, she couldn't see them since it was dark already and the street lamp was behind them, "Hello?" She stepped closer and her vampire eyesight let her see exactly who was in front of her, "June?"

"Where is he, Bella?" She said through gritted teeth, at first Bella felt pain when she saw her but now she feels only pity.

"Please step away from my car," Bella said sternly. June stepped towards her but she did not back up.

"Where is he? Where's Edward?" June began to sob angrily, "What did you do to him?"

Bella chose to not reply, nervous anything she said could anger the girl further. It seemed June was having a mental break down. Bella stomach hurt and she finally realized how much Edward didn't deserve all of this drama over him. He was worthless to her now. June stepped closer again and Bella pulled out her phone, "I will call the police if you take one more step towards me."

"Why? Why call them when you could just kill me?" June laughed bitterly, "I put the pieces together and I know you're not human."

Bella did not let her voice tremble, "June, you're sick. You need help."

"I don't need your help, you stupid cow. The only thing that could help me now you took," June's voice rose to a scream and when Bella took a step towards her car so she could end this conversation but her movement caused June to run away.

Bella could not stop herself from shaking as she got into her car. Edward really fucked this one up, was all she could think.

xXx

That night Ness slept with Bella in her bed, she didn't tell her daughter what happened but Ness had described feeling uneasy. Bella felt it too, something bad was going to happen.

Bella laid there and watched her daughter sleep, and she began counting her blessing as her therapist had said to combat the uneasiness.

Jacob called her and the sound pulled her out of her mind and Nessie out of her sleep. Jacob sounded as nervous as she did, "Edward'a uh...friend drowned. A body wasn't recovered." There's a search party just in case she lied in her note but Charlie asked the pack to trail her scent and it leads right off a cliff."

"Oh my god," even Bella felt remorse. Her daughter looked sick and she put a hand on her face, "Go back to bed, my love."

She stepped out of her room and Jacob asked her, "Is Ness still around?"

"No."

"I didn't want to scare her, but Bella, as we were searching we smelled an unfamiliar vampire."

"I'll call the Cullen's and see what needs to be done. Thanks Jacob, goodnight."

She went back into her room to find Nessie crying. She held her daughter in her arms, she looked like a teenager so sometimes Bella forgot she was really a child. "Mom?"

"Yes? What's wrong?" Bella rubbed her hair softly, being there for her daughter suddenly filled her with strength and love. She hadn't felt like that in months, and it was like colored returned to her world.

Sometimes she forgot she was more than Edward's girl. He absorbed her world right after she moved to Forks and it was like she was a part of him and only him. She never had time to grow and never had time to become a person she loved. So when she realized Edward was cheating it was like her life no longer had purpose. That was going to change from now on.

Renesemee dried her tears and finally spoke, "I can't shake the feeling something awful is happening."

Bella motioned for her daughter to sit up and then put her hands on her shoulders, "Something bad is always happening in this world," she placed her forehead against her daughter's, "I will never let anything hurt you as long as I live. Ever." She backed away and put her hands back in her lap, "Ness, the world isn't a great place but we're stuck here forever. You can't stop bad people and save every person's life, but what you can do with your life is be a light in this dark world. Be something good to remind everyone that everything isn't all bad. Put a smile on people's faces and most of all be a person who you love. During those times in life when no one is around, can you depend on yourself for love and care? When you go to bed, go with a smile knowing you did your best for yourself. You don't have to slave over everyones needs but I know for a fact that if you're kind hearted it will rub off on the right people."

Nessie finally smiled, "I think I am that person, mom."

"You are and I'm proud," she smiled for a moment but then it turned sad, "I know things are going to get hard soon, I can feel it too, but I have you and you have me, and we will survive. I know we will make it. Now, I think you need to go to bed, you have school tomorrow."

"Sometimes I wish I was like you and dad and I never slept," Ness frowned.

"Me too. I get bored at night!" Bella laughed and laid her head back on the pillow. Even with the impending drama, she was happy she was feeling like herself again. Her real self.

She tried not to let June's death bug her too much, and remind herself that people make their own choices, and June made hers. Bella closed her eyes and counted her blessings until the girl left her mind.


End file.
